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TFS.x
This will be the inaugural part in what I like to call “Lame FIRE analogy of the week 1”
Having kids definitely makes you think about a lot things as you watch them develop 2, well it does if you are at least a semi-deep thinker at least. I guess everyone other parent is just thinking either “ah how cute” or “how bloody irritating” at any given point (there isn’t much in between haha).
While doing some colouring with TFS Jr the other day, I found myself getting more on the irritated side as she decided that rather than at least attempt to stay inside of the lines, she wanted to scribble across the whole page with just one colour.
It looked horrendous! (See evidence above)
So naturally I started with the usual coaxing in the right direction:
“Why don’t you try to stay inside of the lines?”
After a few goes of this with no success I decided to let her just crack on with it, all of a sudden thinking that she hasn’t got too many more months ahead of her before “staying inside the lines” is all that seems to matter. From a very early age these sorts of things are drilled into us:
- Stay inside the lines
- No talking
- No running in the corridor
- No walking in the race!
- Dress this particular way (School uniform / fashion)
- Watch these TV shows and listen to this music if you want to be “cool”
- Do your homework and revise
- Get good grades in your exams
- Go to University
- Get a steady job
- Buy a big house and car
- Buy this stuff if you want to be deemed successful
- Have 2.4 children 3
- Work until you are 67/68
- Retire and watch daytime TV till you die
Is it just me or is there a actually quite a natural progression from point #1 to the that final one there?
FIRE to me, is a bit like re-learning that age old instinct we all have from day one, to draw outside the lines again.
It’s learning what “rules” can be broken – and by that I mean fake rules that are really just cultural and societal beliefs that we take for granted, not actually breaking the law of course! – and pushing on the boundaries of things to see how far those lines can stretch, or even be ignored completely so we are free to roam, and do whatever we decide is best for us.
There, that’s pretty much all I have on that one – told you it was Lame!
What lines have you ignored recently either in your journey to FIRE or just in every day life?
I’ll leave you now with another TFS Jr Masterpiece – not really sure what she has against eyes or mouths, or maybe it’s just Cinderella in general
Notes:
- Don’t worry, it won’t really be a weekly post!
- Most “insights” could just as easily come to non-parents, by just thinking about childhood in general and how we decide as a nation/culture to bring children up. It’s just having one right in front of you brings these thoughts to the fore far more regularly and without too much mental effort
- Although if still running that TV show would now have to be called 1.88 Children
The lines to ignore or at least question are:
– Buy a big house and car
– Buy this stuff if you want to be deemed successful
Then later you may be able to ignore this one:
– Work until you are 67/68
Pursuing FIRE involves having different lines to these norms.
Getting Minted recently posted…Investing a lump sum
Hi Getting Minted,
Yea, agreed!
And that list was by no means exhaustive of course!
There are tonnes of rule or cultural norm breaking opportunities to be had on the way to FIRE (or just to make life more fun and enjoyable in general)
Cheers
I am definitely a rule follower, it’s one of the things that I really want to change about myself. Or am I? I had an interesting conversation with a guy I was having a fling with a couple of months ago. I was saying that I followed the rules a lot. He started laughing and said the fact that I was there with him, a man half my age probably meant I didn’t follow the rules quite as much as I thought I did. It made me think. I moved to Spain in my early twenties just for the hell of it and then later on to Scotland to make a new life. I’ve always prioritised life over work and money to buy stuff has never been important to me. Learning new things has always been more fun to me than mindlessly watching TV. And I am definitely not working to 67 or 68. And I have absolutely never cared what people think about my life choices. So I think maybe I have been ignoring the lines all along, I just didn’t realise it. I’m off to find some more lines that I can scribble all over!
I reckon Miss TFR is rebelling against how all the Disney princess stuff just reinforces the patriarchy. Good on her!
Haha, you could well be right there!
I think you’re reading TFS Junior’s art wrong. She’s colouring the eyes and mouth because facial features are important to her I reckon. That she’s able to connect 2D representations of those features to real life would be very impressive in an AI and we take it for granted in small people.
Pollan’s recent book on psychedelics is interesting on different mind states. Basically, young children’s minds are doing the equivalent of adult’s tripping. Which probably explains imaginary friends, seeing things that aren’t there, flights of fantasy etc.
Chris recently posted…Review: Frankissstein
Okay, that drawing of Cinderella is pretty amazing and a little haunting. I’m going to go ahead and call it art.
I like the take, friend. Almost all our behaviors are driven by our biology or our culture: sometimes it’s hard to know exactly if we’re choosing something just because we want to do it, or because someone (or a lot of someones) are telling us it’s what we should do.
Here’s the kicker: why is FIRE different? It’s no surprise that the FIRE movement exploded after a bunch of FIRE bloggers started telling people what to do with their money.
Done by Forty recently posted…The Investor Class & the Working Class
the biggest rule maker is actually school. The schooling system with its rules and hierarchy contributes, IMHO to the acceptance of this social norms, expectations etc. Yes kids need education and freedom to learn, but not schooling. After learning about FIRE, home education was the really the BIG eye opener.
Hi almifobo,
I totally agree!
I’m not sure we’ll be able to make the home schooling option work to be honest as we’ll not be technically FI by the time TFS Jr is well into school, at which point ripping her out half way through would probably be more painful than it’s worth. I am looking forward to provide many out of lesson teaching moments and helping with learning etc though (and already am now in fact in the lead up to proper school, as you would expect)
all the best.
Hey TFS,
From a young age I considered myself a rule follower. But as I’ve gone through life I’ve started to question more where the rules come from and whether I think they’re right & therefore whether I want to follow them. I don’t believe in a ruleless society, but I also don’t like there being too many rules, some of which may be there more for a small minority’s benefit than mine/society’s benefit as a whole.
I also think there’s different types of rules. The spoken & official rules, like our laws for example. Then there’s the types of rules which are actually only in our own heads. Maybe because of the way we were brought up and beliefs that we formed. I recently had an “ah-ha” moment when I realised that most of the limits (rules) I’m following are entirely in my head! If I challenge and remove those “rules” in my head, the possibilities for what I can achieve are almost limitless.
I like the fact you let TFS junior draw outside the lines, may she continue to test respectfully drawing outside those lines as she goes through life…
Corinna